Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What's really going on?

doctorjob.com.my



A friend told me recently that I sound so sad and scarily not myself.

Truth is, I haven't been myself lately. Issues of the heart seems to clog my vocabulary, and I cant seem to fully express myself in words. Thus, having one-liners is the best way for me to scream out.

What's really going on? Most people have asked.

Its difficult to explain, really. With much that is going on, I do not think I'll be able to explain fully. On one hand, I feel very much alive. And on the other, I'm very much dead inside. But in all things, Someone is always at work.



//



For most people, the year should have started by now. But for me, I'm still in the midst of preparation. The year would only really start once I reach Sydney. In saying so, I cant believe I'm leaving in 2 weeks time.

My season here is coming to an end. With every new beginning, there must be a closure of the previous end. This would be my first time leaving home for a long period. A sense of mix feelings as I try to rationalize my emotions.



//



What exactly is going thru me about leaving?

I am happy to go because I know Sydney is the best place for me to be at in 2007. This is my season of growth as a person outside the comfortable walls of my family and friends here. To find myself as an individual there, to live and to learn.


I am thankful that I have wonderful parents who support me in all that I do.


I am sad to go because I know things would progress on without me back here. No matter how hard I try to fit back in when I come back, there would be experiences that I cannot share with those back here while I'm gone.


I am afraid that the people I know now would not be found in a year's time.



//



With the issues of the heart, and me leaving in such a short time. I am taking Whitey's advice:


"Looking back on what I said all those years ago...all those hopes and dreams I had. I've come to a conclusion...that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to...is the measure of a successful life, then some would say I'm a failure.

The important thing is...not to be bitter over life's disappointments.
Learn to let go of the past...and recognize that everyday won't be sunny.

And when you find yourself lost...in the darkness and despair.
Remember its only in the black of night...that you can see the stars...and those starts will lead you back home.

So don't be afraid to make mistakes...to stumble and fall.
Cause most of the time...the greatest rewards come from doing things...that scares you the most.

Maybe you'll get everything you wish for.
Maybe you'll get more than you ever could imagine.
Who knows where life would take you.

The road is long...and in the end
...the journey is the destination."



//



A special someone wrote about him and her.

I guess you'll have to figure out who it is to know them both.



Check Ted out for necessary growth.

20 Comments:

At 5:25 PM, Blogger Philip Tan said...

wow.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Philip!

Hehe, why wow?


d=)

 
At 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey u....
wah....so chim man ur stuff...hahha...but i think i kno how u feel...
being a person that has left home for the first time(tho its only like 2n half hrs away) n after coming back to PJ from home for the first time....
well...its no lie that it was kinda weird to be back home...weird in a sense that even the way i communicate with ppl around me at home was diff..even my mom was like..
"wa gurl...u rily changed so much!" tho i din rily feel it...
nontheless....my family&frens were more than happy 2 c me back home...asking me tons of question of how i have been...trying to get me involve o help out in church in any possible way that i can....
so with ur reputation in church...i wud seriously doubt that u'll b left out...i for sure will not let u go without saying hi o having lunch!!!haha...
i truly believe that u will b able to learn and experience soo much by goin to sydney n even whn u come back for the hols....
in fact....i wud very much like to hear frm u whn ur back!!! haha...
"yumm sing" (cheers)...heehee

just me....
belinda

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Belinda!

Thanks for the encouragement, appreciate it.

Oh, and I didnt knoe I had a reputation in church. Wonder what that is.

Mind filling me in?


;o)

 
At 9:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh making me more sad :P POST SOMETHING HAPPY! heheh. :)

 
At 10:06 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Shammy!

Im trying to be as real here.

But I'll work on that.


d=)

 
At 1:24 AM, Blogger Jon Ng said...

Yo mannn....

Dunno what else I can say here....

but no matter what, let's hope and pray that our brotherhood will still remain the same...as in, I will be the same Jon and you will be the same Sam we both know now.

Will 'update' you about my life here...of course thru MSN and email, rite.

Jon

 
At 1:43 AM, Blogger debbeh woo! said...

heys,
dont be sad to go cause what you've left behind will always remain.

the only thing that is constant is change :]
you'll do fine wherever you go cause you've got the Bigger Man to watch over you.
:]

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Jon!

Haha, yeah man. Maybe when I come back I can be a God-Father for your children already.

Wootz!


;o)

 
At 3:13 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Debbie!

Yup, am gonna try to make the most out of my time there for sure.


d=)

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger bnardhiew said...

xqSam,

You said a year?
I say in 9 months!
Hopefully not, but possibly so!

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Bernard!

Haha, why 9 months I wonder?


;o)

 
At 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ehe. real is good. Happy is good too :)

 
At 1:44 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Hehe, yup yup!

11 days and counting.


d=)

 
At 10:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you always have us, sam. the guys =)

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Khai Yong!

Thanks bro, appreciate you guys.

Chill soon.


;o)

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger TheDugong said...

Yo man,
I must say that reading your blog posts is quite an experience as i am consistently encouraged by each one of them. Can't believe you are leaving so soon. No worries mate, Sydney's THE place to go for your personal growth this year. :D Bet its gonna make you older and wiser. Also, take good care and constantly hang on to God.. hmm.. :P Hopefully, i'll see you in Sydney then and we'll have 1/2 of the 3+1. hehe.

also, come over Melbourne when you get the chance. We'll go back-packing and penguin hunting!

love ya bro,
Dugongs

 
At 5:19 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey man!

Thanks for the encouragement bro, great to hear from you. Hope all is going well for you as it is for me here.

Come by in July and we can have a full 3+1! Jelly would be down for the conference from the 3-6th.

Man, Melb would be interesting. There are penguins to hunt? Haha, gils babs.


Will call you when Im in Sydney.



d=)

 
At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey sam, you look good in the cover! that a magazine? can't believe i know a foreign star ;) don't forget me when you're famous ayt? haha jk! tc and have fun in oz! i'll be going to kk end of august!

 
At 1:58 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Hey Angeli!

Yeah thats a mag, thanks so much! Wow, thats cool, climbing the mountain? Enjoy the fishes too ya?

Take care and maybe we can meet somewhere round the globe soon!


;o)

 

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