Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What's really going on?

A friend told me recently that I sound so sad and scarily not myself.

Truth is, I haven't been myself lately. Issues of the heart seems to clog my vocabulary, and I cant seem to fully express myself in words. Thus, having one-liners is the best way for me to scream out.

What's really going on? Most people have asked.

Its difficult to explain, really. With much that is going on, I do not think I'll be able to explain fully. On one hand, I feel very much alive. And on the other, I'm very much dead inside. But in all things, Someone is always at work.


For most people, the year should have started by now. But for me, I'm still in the midst of preparation. The year would only really start once I reach Sydney. In saying so, I cant believe I'm leaving in 2 weeks time.

My season here is coming to an end. With every new beginning, there must be a closure of the previous end. This would be my first time leaving home for a long period. A sense of mix feelings as I try to rationalize my emotions.


What exactly is going thru me about leaving?

I am happy to go because I know Sydney is the best place for me to be at in 2007. This is my season of growth as a person outside the comfortable walls of my family and friends here. To find myself as an individual there, to live and to learn.

I am thankful that I have wonderful parents who support me in all that I do.

I am sad to go because I know things would progress on without me back here. No matter how hard I try to fit back in when I come back, there would be experiences that I cannot share with those back here while I'm gone.

I am afraid that the people I know now would not be found in a year's time.


With the issues of the heart, and me leaving in such a short time. I am taking Whitey's advice:

"Looking back on what I said all those years ago...all those hopes and dreams I had. I've come to a conclusion...that if having things turn out the way you wanted them the measure of a successful life, then some would say I'm a failure.

The important thing is...not to be bitter over life's disappointments.
Learn to let go of the past...and recognize that everyday won't be sunny.

And when you find yourself the darkness and despair.
Remember its only in the black of night...that you can see the stars...and those starts will lead you back home.

So don't be afraid to make stumble and fall.
Cause most of the time...the greatest rewards come from doing things...that scares you the most.

Maybe you'll get everything you wish for.
Maybe you'll get more than you ever could imagine.
Who knows where life would take you.

The road is long...and in the end
...the journey is the destination."


A special someone wrote about him and her.

I guess you'll have to figure out who it is to know them both.

Check Ted out for necessary growth.

Monday, January 22, 2007

in one years time.

i predict.

that him and her.

will part.

Monday, January 15, 2007

It's been a month.

As the song goes.

Baby don't happy.

Saturday, January 13, 2007


What do you do when all hope is lost?

Friday, January 05, 2007

When will I see you again?

If I dont come back.

I hope you will remember me when Im gone.

I hope that I'll be in your thoughts, your conversations.

I hope my life has made that difference in yours.

I hope you forgive me for all my wrong.

I hope that life will treat you well.

I hope music will always be in your heart.

I hope you know that I was genuine.

I hope you know that I miss you.

All the times I said I love you...I meant it with all thats within me.